Open Letter to the Oil Sheiks from France
Dear Oil Sheiks,
We are through with you. Fini! We have a replacement and it has been under our Gaulis noses all this time, starting with one of our very own citizens: Monsieur Rudolf Diesel. (Sorry we ran you and your family out of France, but it was the Franco-Prussian war, we make a lot of mistakes during wars, please accept our tardy apology).
Diesel demonstrated his visionary engine that was powered by peanut oil and he received the "Grand Prix" (highest prize) at the World Fair here in Paris, France in 1900. In a prophesying speech, Rudolf Diesel said, "the use of vegetable oils for engine fuels may seem insignificant today, but such oils may become, in the course of time, as important as petroleum and the coal-tar products of the present time."
After Saddam screwed us on “an oil for money” trade, in the 1990’s (we gave him the money he never gave us the oil) we got smart and started mixing our diesel fuels with 5 % bio-diesel usually made from rape (canola) oil. In addition, we use a 30 % proportion into the diesel fuel used by most fleet vehicles, government and public transportation like Monsieur le President Jacques Chirac’s car and garbage trucks. Renault, Peugeot, and Citroen have experiments with 50 % -100 % bio-diesel underway.Being farmer-friendly, we have opted for bio-diesel. In addition, the Colza flowers and Sunflowers are just so pretty and photogenic. They beautify our countryside, provide fuel, and painters like Van Gogh find inspiration from their lovely yellow blooms. Much prettier than Oil derricks, tar pits and the like that you have in your sandy oil fields. See, we can make bio-diesel from animal fats, oilseeds, used cooking oil, sugar and grains. All of our pomme frites oil can be recycled and turned into a safer non-dependent on Petroleum countries-like you kind of fuel. In addition, it oxygenates the fuel and brings the emission levels down-- particularly carbon monoxide and nitrous oxide. Bio-fuels are biodegradable and non-toxic, what do you say to that?
If you guys out there in the desert want to pour your used Falafel oil into your Mercedes, remember you have to process it first. This can be done commercially or “homebrew”. In fact, if you want to learn how to brew your own, you can check out this site or for more information this site. WARNING: It is women who own this bio fuel station and they have know-how and elbow grease that will send your turbans into a full tilt spin.Yours truly (in case you need political asylum),
La Belle France
