BonjourParis

Cheese and Dental Floss

Before he had a stent placed in his right coronary artery unexpectedly at the age of sixty-three Ralph loved cheese. He had never eaten it excessively but when in France he would seek out Ste. Marcellin, Brie de Meaux, and Chevre. A friend had suggested he try Vacherin de Mont d'or, He had never heard of Mont d'Or and stopped in an Internet café in Paris and checked it out on WIkipedia. He discovered it was a “soft, rich, seasonal cheese contained in a grayish-yellow blanched rind; typically containing 45-50 per cent milk fat.”

All of this sounded overwhelming to Ralph since he had become chary of any food even listing its fat content and any cheese (he had been warned by his cardiologist) whose consistency was not hard at room temperature. He read that Mont d'Or was often served as fondue, something he had sworn off of long ago after he had eaten a dinner of raclette at the home of some Swiss friends. He had felt uncomfortably full for a day afterwards.

While he was hospitalized over night, a precautionary measure for anyone with a stent, Ralph spent the first two hours trying to figure out the remote control that simultaneously regulated his hospital bed, the HD TV, the locking door to the bathroom, the audio jacks hooked to Exum satellite radio, and the call button for the nurse. Nothing seemed to work properly. Once when he got the TV turned on he inadvertently rolled over, hit some button and the screen went blank. Needless to say since there was no logic to his efforts he could not retrace his steps.

Finally, when a nurse did come in to check vitals they discovered that the remote had been replaced with a new digital model and Ralph had been desperately punching buttons on an antiquated model.

“Do you have any dental floss?” Ralph asked, realizing he had not planned on staying over night.

“No but here is a tooth brush and toothpaste,” his nurse said.

“Don't you know that cavities have been connected with myocardial infarction? ”  Ralph said. He had read a health hint in Men’s Health.

“Yeah I heard something about it. Roll over onto your back so I can get your blood pressure.”

The next morning Ralph was discharged back to his pre-stent life. The first thing he did was pick up his stethoscope and listen to his heart; wondering if, now that the crud had been cleared from his right coronary artery, his heart would sound different. More of a whoosh now that the blood vessel had a new lease on life.

A few days later he reassessed his new life. His diet contained enough fiber: daily fruit. He had given up Cerulean Sea -- a salt culled from California ocean near Point Reyes. He had thrown out his army boots that had been sitting in the basement on a shelf labeled “do not touch! Ralph’s.” He had had them since the age of sixteen and could not find a way to part with them until now. He knew he would never wear them and guessed that someone else might.

That night, after he had used his dental floss and gazed at the magnet of Paris (the Eiffel Tower) on his bathroom mirror, he noticed a long gray eyebrow for the first time. He grabbed a tweezer and pulled it out with a  jerk.
------------------

p.s. Bonjour Paris gave Louis Borgenicht the following words and challenged him to write something about the French or France, etc.  (We invite you to send him a list, too: editor@bonjourparis.com.) Here is the list that helped him create the genius work above:

Write something using the following words:
    cerulean seas
    fiber
    remote control
    army boots
    dental floss
    Mont d'or
    crud
    eyebrow
    stethascope
    paris