Paris France Stories


A name caller pigeonholes herself in France

By Riana Lagarde

I am pretty easygoing. There are not that many things that bother me in this nice life that I have; just two little pesky things at this moment.  I am truly blessed to live in France: married to a wonderful French man, my in-laws finally like me, we have a nice roof over our heads, decent food to eat everyday, and kick ass healthcare.  I can’t complain.  Nor should any of us who have this fantastic opportunity to live in a foreign country and experience a life that most people can only dream of. We are so lucky.

 

  

So, back to what’s bothering me: two little tiny things.  1. The guys with the sledgehammers downstairs busting out a connecting wall – ‘toc ‘toc ‘toc (I am going to go mad!) and 2. This American blogger ‘Trapped in France’ (not the real title, but something close to that, you can use Google to find it) who continually stereotypes: French people are smelly (no, they are not), Arabs don’t have manners (it is the complete opposite, they are the most hospitable), French hospitals suck (what? no, they don’t), the French Post office sucks (ok, they do kind of, but they are improving).  I don’t even know her and I already want to divorce her.

 

  

Yeah, yeah, I don’t have to read her blog, but you know what, there are only about 3,000 Americans living in France and she is one of them. Of those, there are about 100 blogs that are read daily by thousands of viewers.  She is 65 million French peoples’ firsthand experience of an American, and she is ruining it for all of us! When you live in a foreign country, you are a diplomat for your home country whether you want to be or not.  People are listening to you and looking to you to explain all things American: food, politics, point of view on wars, ethics and cultural differences, all through your actions and your words whether expressed vocally or on a public internet site. (‘toc, ‘toc, ‘toc) When you waste all your breath complaining, well, we look like … complainers—like spoiled brats.

  

She is obviously a very unhappily married woman who is displacing all of her anger, fears and insecurities on France.  This is her subtitle: “Stories of an American housewife on an unfortunate journey in non-touristic France.”  If I was her husband I would run far, far away. If I was any of her husband’s friends, I would cry at the mean and hurtful things that she says about them. If I were her husband’s family I would disown her and unfortunately anyone that knows her or reads what she writes.  I would say “this is a typical spoiled, materialistic and ignorant American labeling people”. The stereotyper has pigeonholed herself in this predicament. And (‘toc, ‘toc, ‘toc) sledge-hammering should be illegal.

 

Moving to a strange country is hard (‘toc, ‘toc, ‘toc), and that is why it’s a called an adventure; it is not meant to be straightforward or else everyone would do it.  France is a lovely country, but you need to get to know her first, give her a chance (France is feminine, thus commonly referred to as a “her”).  One must really find out what she is all about, explore her streets, meet her people, experience life through them, find joy on each corner, embrace differences, learn from her history, and stop crying out loud saying: “in the USA it is like this or like that,” or “this would never happen in America.”  You don’t live in America ANYMORE. When you really give your all to France, she will open up her bodice to you and embrace you. No one is “trapped”, (‘toc, ‘toc, ‘toc) you can leave, you can go back home to Minnesota or wherever the grass is greener, but really take a look at yourself first, and see what is truly ambushing you, and you will find out that it is yourself.  Copyright © Riana Lagarde

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COMMENTS

  • Pascal

    Parisian Lover Pascal 1 Comments
    I also know this woman's blog and found it very comedic. I am disappointed to see it is closed. Your article is written out of exaggerations and misperception, as already stated. Gathering from your former articles you are not complaint-free about French living either. Tell me what makes someone from Minnesota any worse than someone who grew up on a "cow farm" in Idaho? I would probably want to get as far away from that environment ( even if that meant living in France ) if I grew up there too. Your articles also tend to point to someone who refers frequently to a thesaurus - complicated words that don't fit exactly well within the phrases. So you live in an inherited house and are unemployed, how does this make you an authoritative voice on France? Take off your rose-colored glasses and get your facts straight.

  • ParisTexas

    Parisian Lover ParisTexas 1 Comments
    I read posts on this person's blog a week or so ago (before she deleted it -- the word "lache" comes to mind...). If you decide to publish your life, you should be prepared to deal with criticism as well as praise.

    I can't help but scoff at the blogger's defense. You don't have to live in a fabulously touristic part of France to enjoy the discovery of its culture.

    And Ann-toinette, I can assure you that Riana Lagarde is just a plain, ordinary citizen with absolutely no hidden agenda (to the contrary). I, too, pay taxes here. You might be embarrassed if you realized how many fellow American expats in France visited your blog and couldn't believe your boundless negativity.

    I'm sure you will admit that a French person with your attitude in the U.S. would not be well-liked by Americans. Honey, not vinegar, attracts bees.

  • Karen Fawcett

    Parisian Lover Karen Fawcett 140 Comments
    Ann-toinette: There's no question that some people are more fortunate than others. I count myself among them and I DO pay French taxes.

    The majority of the Americans (or other Expats) whom I know are living in France do so because they choose to. Most people can "go home" if that's what they want.

    I must agree with other posters who say some Americans take things for granted and forget their manners. We could and should ALL learn from one another in order to develop global understanding and hopefully, peace. And a "please" and "thank you" are always appreciated.

  • Ann-toinette

    Parisian Lover Ann-toinette 1 Comments
    Your inept ability to differentiate between that of a stereotype and that of a personal experience leads me to believe that your statements are made purely from misperception or misinterpretation, or both.

    In addition, your argument is weakend by the fact that your statements are formulated not by fact, but by mischief or hatred. None of which you said is true, but rather exaggerated and half-true.

    Maybe there are 3,000 Americans in France. I highly doubt that all 3,000 are obliged to love France, or that in actuality they do love France. And one must admit that both France and the US share the right to freedom of expression.

    It is also important to know that this blog was not founded in Paris Centre, but rather the suburbs of Paris, a suburb that is known for religious extremism, and a suburb that arrested a ring of suspected terrorists in the month of September 2005. Paris is known as one of the Gems of France, partially for its tourist income and monuments. I have to agree that Paris is a great city. The city in which this blog was founded contains neither of those.

    Your motivation is also quite dubious, as perhaps you were paid by a French tourist agency to promote all things French. To lack an acknowledgement of serious social issues within this country (high unemployment, social services deficit, and, possibility or probability that healthcare will not remain so affordable) is to ignore the truth, which in turn is equivalent to ignorance.

    There is a reason why the American Dream is called just that. For those who have ambition to work hard, or start a business, or continue education, many people from around the world pay top dollar to attend American Universities. They don't do such a thing in France.

    In speaking with many French people, I know very well, the frustration that they face with high unemployment, difficulties to change fields, living on the SMIC, or on welfare. I know very well this frustration, because I too am living amongst those who know first-hand the complicated social issues that face France.

    I can't help but wonder if you're actually a French taxpayer or a French tax consumer. If indeed you have had to pay French taxes, I doubt your stance would remain so biased.

  • Susan Kostka

    Parisian Lover Susan Kostka 1 Comments
    As a flight attendant for an airline that brings people back and forth from the USA to France, I can tell you that it is terribly unfair to stereotype "all" people from a certain culture as one thing or another. On my first trip to Paris, I was anxious about being treated rudely by the French people, as that is what I had been led to expect. I can truly say from 33 years of flying around the world, that the "Golden Rule" DOES WORK!! If you treat people with the respect that you wish them to treat You, then you will almost always be treated with respect back. I Do know that the French are much more polite than the Americans are, if only because their culture is much more calm and genteel. Americans want things right away, whether it is the answer to a question, or the cost of something that they don't know the price of. The French, on the other hand, always do some of the common courtesies Before they ask for something. They will always say Bon Jour, how are you today, (in French) before they ask you for anything. We could all learn from their example. When I started flying as a stewardess 33 years ago, passengers almost always asked for something with a "please or if you have time" and when whatever was brought to them, they almost always said, "thank you". Now, it is "I Need a blanket" or whatever else, and when the item is brought to them, they hardly even look you in the eye, let alone thank you for it. We are becoming much more like the "Ugly American" than we would like to admit. Personally, I would love it if as many Americans as could afford it, would travel OUTSIDE of the US at least once a year to see how other people live and behave. It would be a real eye-opener to a lot of people. We would realize that we don't need so much "stuff" to be happy, and that you can smile and treat people well and it doesn't cost a dime more, and you get so much back that it is priceless! Thank You, SueB)

  • Diana Shores

    Parisian Lover Diana Shores 3 Comments
    Having just returned from Paris two weeks ago, I wholeheartedly agree with Riana Lagarde's article. Paris is a beautiful city, very clean, and very hospitable, with the best transportaion system anywhere. Everyone I came in contact with was very polite and friendly, much to my surprise after reading so many articles about how cold the French people are and how they hate Americans. One thing I would advise is to learn a little bit about the culture before you go. The French people as a whole are quiet and very well-mannered, and expect to be treated the same. If Americans are loud and overbearing, and fail to use their manners, it will be very different from their culture. It is also a great idea to learn a little French (obviously the more the better), but at the minimum, learn how to say hello, goodbye, thank you, how much does this cost, and do you speak English, all in French. Be sure to greet people as you enter and leave establishments, and be sure to include Madame, Mademoiselle, or Monsieur (Ex. Bonjour, monsieur). One more suggestion is to wear shoes made in Europe. Sneakers/tennis shoes (especially for anyone but the younger generation) typically identify you as a tourist, plus the European shoes are so COMFORTABLE, and very well made. I love Paris!!

  • Karen Fawcett

    Parisian Lover Karen Fawcett 140 Comments
    Riana:

    Thank you for this right-on article. It's ever so accurate. France is NOT a hardship post and even though I recognize there is an adjustment period permitted, (OK = 6 months). People who are continually discontent would undoubtedly be so anywhere. You take yourself with you.

    Please spare me from the constant complainers and most especially, ones who do it in print, under the guise of journalism.

    PS - tic toc - there's always construction somewhere. Ear plugs or ear phones - take you choice!

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